today was his funeral,

I was not there.

Not because I didn’t love him. Not because I didn’t want to say goodbye, I was not there because I was left out of the plans. Decisions were made without me, conversations happened without me. And when the day came, I was on the outside.

That is the kind of heartbreak people don’t talk about.

while others gathered together, I grieved alone. No shares silence. No shared tears. No one beside me to say “I know” just me, sitting with the weight of losing my father and the weight of not being included in his goodbye.

it is one thing to lose your dad. It is another to lose him and realize you are standing by yourself.

I am heartbroken.

Before everything became complicated when I was little, I loved my dad more than anything in the world. There was no confusion about that. No distance. No silence. He was my hero. He was my safe place. He was the first man I ever loved, and I loved him completely.

That love was real.

Being excluded does not erase that. Being left out does not rewrite history. Silence does not undo a lifetime of being his daughter.

Today was his funeral.

I was not in the room.

But I am still his daughter

Kellie